Wednesday, June 16, 2010

how'd that happen?!

Every day I practice. Every day the same postures. Some days are stiffer than others. Some are lighter. It's always new and yet always the same.

That's the beauty of the Ashtanga practice. You know exactly what you're going to do, but you never know what you're going to get. For example about two years ago, I was jumping into Bakasana B. Knees were landing near shoulders, feet stayed off the ground. I was there for the full five breaths. Then, one morning, practicing in a hotel room in Ayacucho, Peru, I jump slightly to the left rather than center. This catches the weird spot where I had broken my arm 11 years earlier. I felt intense pain and haven't been able to jump into the pose since. I'm sure that I actually can do it. But my body remembers and stops me just before I get there. Nonetheless, I continue to try it every morning with the faith that one day I will surprise myself.

I've also had sudden triumphs like this. A few mornings ago while doing my drop backs, I decided to walk my hands in on the last one. They made it to about an inch from my heels and I still felt strong and light. So, I walked them in some more. They touched my heels and I was able to stay there and breathe. I was surprised and elated. I thought that practicing by myself, I would never reach my heels in drop backs again. But I opened myself up to the possibility and it just happened.

And so I hope will happen with Pincha Mayurasana. I received this pose in December. We are now in June. I am still unable to catch my balance without the wall. Without the wall, I kick up and over into a kind of cartwheel. With the wall, I'm sometimes able to catch it. I will continue trying. I have faith that I will surprise myself one morning.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Leave a comment! I'd love to hear from you.