Monday, October 11, 2010

ouch! injured!

In the 8 years that I've been practicing yoga, I have never had to sit it out due to an injury. I've had to take breaks for the flu or colds, but I've never been injured badly enough to really affect my practice.

Wednesday afternoon I had pins and needles in my leg. Thursday it didn't go away, but that was a moonday. Friday, it was still there with some pain in the left abdomen. I could only do a half practice. I reflected on the impermanence of our bodies and was grateful for the practice that I'd had until now. Sunday was more of the same.

This morning, I got up ready to do what I could. It had become worse. Now the other leg joined in the fun. I couldn't get up from prasarita padotanasana b and c without putting my hands on the floor and really bending my right knee. I kept moving through standing, did a modified finishing and then lay on the floor in savasana crying.

In some ways, having an injury is good for my sturdy kapha type. It's hard to work with other people's injuries if you haven't experienced many yourself. But it can also be super frustrating feeling limited, getting scared that it will never be right again. I thought about my friend Gabe who took his own life last year. Some say it was because of his shoulder injury, that it was keeping him from everything he loved (body work, yoga, fire spinning). I never quite believed or understood that. Having this temporary injury even puts that into better perspective.

I thought it was a spider bite. My health practitioner says it's sciatica. There's not low back pain, so I'm not sure that I buy that explanation. I'm following my instincts and continuing to treat this as an infection.

In the meantime, I'll continue to do what I can taking each morning for what it is. I will try to accept that this can be a tool for me to learn more about myself and the practice.

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