Monday, November 1, 2010

Learned so much! Thinking about so much!

This cleanse has been so educative.  In many ways, this was thanks to the timing with my injury/vitamin deficiency.

The B12 deficiency problem was extremely scary. I continue to read up on it and am thankful that I pushed to find out the real cause of my "foot drop."  Here's a really interesting website on the issue.  Going through this has made me question two of my core beliefs:

1) that your vitamins should come from your food, not capsules.
2) that a veg diet gives you everything you need and all of this hooplah about protein is just more misguided American food culture.

But now where to go with this.  I am taking a daily multi vitamin and felt the effects almost as soon as I started.  I'll continue to do this.

I'd also like to get more B12 sources into my diet.  Fish is not an issue.  I don't mind eating something that I know that I could catch and kill myself.  However, here in the Midwest, fish is not as plentiful/fresh/appealing as on the East Coast. 

Someone told me that nutritional yeast has B12 in it.  I bought some. Does anyone know what to do with it?

But I'm also questionning whether my vegetarian diet was serving me.  With access to cruelty free meat products, does it hurt to have a serving or two of animal protein a week?  Should I have more than that?  My continued hesitation on this issue stems from the effect that the American farming industry has on the earth environmentally and also the cruelty that most animals suffer before they get to our plate.  If the animal is sad, aren't we eating that sadness.  I continue to wrestle with this question but will see what might be available to me from small local farms where animals are raised cruelty free. 

Some other interesting results of the cleanse were that during the "purgation" phase, I literally felt high.  I was laughing at everything even more than usual.  Being so light must also effect your attitude towards life.  It was glorious.

Cleansing also has this wonderful way of making you confront your biggest phobias and insecurities.  Here was my example.  I had signed on for the group cleanse support with my teacher.  About halfway through last week, I realized that I wasn't getting any emails from the group. At first, I thought that maybe the group just wasn't very active.  But then some of my negative patterns began to emerge.  I started thinking that I was shunned from the group and being purposefully excluded.  I let myself chew on this for a day or two, contemplating the many ways that I was undeserving especially of friendship.  Then finally, I asked myself if what I was creating was really true.  How could I know it was true?  I felt more at peace with this.  The peaceful sensation opened up a new space for my creative mind to work.  I thought that maybe I would check the Google Groups page to see if there was any activity there and if I was indeed added to the group.  Sure enough!  I was and there were over 70 messages.  I just hadn't set up my account correctly to receive emails.

Lessons learned: 1) Many of our patterns of negative thinking are our own creation that we need to break down in order to open up space in our minds and hearts.  2) I can do a cleanse on my own without support of a group...but the support is definitely more fun.

And so now a very fruitful cleanse has come to an end.  There is certainly a period of mourning at the end of a cleanse, a sense of loss of something very profound.  But there's the spring cleanse to look forward to.  And in the meantime, there is regular LIFE, beautiful life.

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